LINDEMAN
Building Community One Conversation at a Time

By BRUCE LINDEMAN

October 5, 2012

I often wonder why I like to dig in the dirt.  Most of my friends my age don’t enjoy gardening, or at least don’t want to admit it.

It’s not like I even consider myself a “gardener.”  I couldn’t tell you the names of many of the plants in our garden, which my wife and I recently inherited with the purchase of our Tazewell Avenue home.

What I do know is that I enjoy it.

For some, however, gardening is a solitary affair: a chance to be alone with one’s thoughts.  To escape the other, more mundane chores that await them back inside, to even get a little bit of exercise or to feel the warmth of the sun against their face.  The reasons why people garden are about as varied as the shells you might find walking the shoreline of Smith Island.

For me, working in the yard has always been a chance to do all of the above – and to be social.  Gardening is not usually a social activity, such as playing golf, or attending a dinner party.  It’s usually different with me.

At some point during my yard work, a conversation with someone typically ensues.  Oftentimes, a neighbor strolling down the street might toss out a “lookin’ good!” or even a “love what you’ve done with the place” and keep walking.  Sometimes, such comments lead to a return of “thanks” and other times, it begins a 20-minute conversation about any variety of topics.

Often, I simply need a break from the work and find an unsuspecting neighbor to walk over to and chat.  Such was the case last weekend.

My wife and I live in a wonderfully friendly block of Tazewell and striking up a conversation is never a challenge.  But I realized this weekend when our conversation with our neighbors had ended and we went back to working in our respective yards, that there is such a more visceral need for such conversations than we might realize.  As much as we may like gardening and the results it yields, we also like to commune.  Commune, of course, is the root of the word, community.

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As with many things in life, few are unconnected.  Rarely is there not some connectedness in things we do, people we know, and places we go.  Most of us don’t live our lives in isolation.  We live them communally.  We need interactions with others as much as the air we breathe.  We need to express.  We need to validate.  We need to inquire.  Most importantly, we need to understand.

My wife and I were standing in our back alley talking to our next-door neighbors over their picket fence when another neighbor walked over.  Our conversation spanned perhaps 20 minutes and covered everything from hydrangeas to the health of our town.  We certainly didn’t solve the town’s problems that afternoon.  But we discussed and debated.  Most importantly, we engaged.

When I walked back in to our own yard, I felt good.  Not that I had any newfound answers for my questions about the town.  But I felt good about the health of the town, despite the negative news that so often grabs the headlines these days.

I also felt good about being able to discuss these issues in an open, friendly way.  Such dialog builds community.  It builds understanding.  Community doesn’t just happen — it occurs over many years and generations.  But as communities grow, they can just as easily whither and die.  What helps keeps communities going are neighbors talking to neighbors.

As a homeowner, I feel a need to keep a pulse on the health of the town.  I not only want to protect my investment, but also the town.  I realize there are issues that folks are rather upset about these days.  But as I think back to my conversation with my neighbors this past weekend, I realize that the town’s in pretty good shape.  It really is.  We’ve weathered the worse of the economic storm.  We have numerous, successful new businesses that have opened this year.  Yes, there are rumors of others closing.  But don’t read too much into that.  There is a beginning and an ending to most everything and, as I’ve been taught, as one door closes another opens.

I look forward to celebrating the year that was through the coming holiday season with my friends and neighbors.  I also look forward to the hope that next year brings.  Most of all, I look forward to continuing to whip our new garden into shape.  Gardens, like relationships and communities, require work.  But when you put in the effort, the rewards are so enjoyable.

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